I've given a few different talks in the past month or so, and it's curious to me how sometimes certain "themes" get pulled out of them. Recently, a theme I have heard resonating with a lot of women is the emotional sensitivity we experience in our luteal phase.

For quick recap: the luteal phase is the time in our menstrual cycle following ovulation, when the corpus luteum is present and is secreting progesterone— the hormone which supports the early stages of pregnancy. It's the pro-gestation hormone.

"But if a girl isn't pregnant? Why is she making progesterone?"

Great question! The reason our bodies do this is because if an egg is fertilized, if conception takes place— it can actually take a minimum of 8-10 days for implantation to actually occur. So our bodies don’t get any biofeedback for a while after ovulation, which means that in each cycle our bodies automatically assume that we are pregnant… just in case!

A key element of the “feminine genius” JPII speaks of in his writing is the aspect of maternity: not that every woman will become a biological mother, but that her body is ordered and structured for the potential of motherhood.

What we see with our menstrual cycles is that our hormones act out our "potential maternity" even if we haven’t been sexually active– a woman’s body will always, with every cycle, actively prepare to receive new life.

With this surge of progesterone, many things happen in a woman's body:

If we're thinking about biomarkers related to observation, progesterone will help to thicken cervical fluid and elevate basal body temperature.

Progesterone also impacts other body processes, such as our ​metabolism​, ​sleep patterns​, and yes: our moods.

During the post-ovulatory luteal phase, women can sometimes experience a wide mix of mood-related changes. Progesterone, generally, has a ​calming effect​ on our moods, but—spoiler alert!— our brains are actually really complicated. Because of the not-very-straightforward relationship between progesterone, estrogen, other steroids, and neurotransmitters, the luteal phase can also contribute to increased ​anxiety​. For women who experience the symptoms of ADHD, ​rejection sensitive dysphoria​ may be triggered in the EXTREME by these varying hormonal shifts.

On a smaller scale, I think most women and girls can relate to the idea that our luteal phase comes with heightened sensitivity to moods... in general.

I recently chatted with a school counselor who frequently sees this play out with her middle- and high-school students. Girls will come to her office in tears over perceived rejection by friends, anxious about little shifts in tone of voice or other micro-communications that didn't seem to be present a couple of weeks ago. "Did I do something wrong?" the girls wonder. The sensitivity can spiral a lot of different directions: either outward towards someone who may have wronged us, or inward as we begin to blame ourselves for incurring poor treatment from others.

Neither of these things is fully accurate. So what we can do?

Even if we can name this as "luteal phase sensitivity," or part of PMS, it's tempting for us to file this away as one of the many "curses" of being a woman. It's tempting to say: It sucks... but there's nothing much we can do about it except plow through it.

I'd like to invite you to see this sensitivity differently, either for yourself or for someone you love.

So let's back up to what we said before about a woman's body being ordered towards maternity, even when pregnancy has not occurred.

Because the task of bringing new life into the world is so important and so sacred, we can think about how during the luteal phase our bodies provide the means for women to be hyper aware of our environments: to scan and assess the potential for ANY sort of threat.

So in some ways, progesterone (and all the other accompanying hormones) give us sort of “super powers” to be sensitive—even more sensitive than we usually are to micro communication and interactions with other people, sensitive to smells and tastes that could warn us of dangerous foods, sensitive to anything that might socially isolate us and jeopardize the protection of community that we would need for help during pregnancy and beyond. All of these are good, really helpful things that our biology puts in place for us as part of that active preparation for pregnancy.

But what does this look like? It means that often, we become a lot more self-critical. We worry that small glances or changes in tone of voice (which maybe we didn’t even perceive a week before!) would threaten our status. We become really sensitive to any signs of disapproval from our spouse, and can easily get over-stimulated because of all this additional sensory input we are processing.

At times, we can become overly-analytical, to the point where we are ready to give up on even those projects which gave us such energy and life a couple of weeks ago (hello, anyone who runs their own business!).

Are these fun things to experience? Or to be on the receiving end of? I'm gonna say "no." Not usually.

BUT, I wonder what would happen in our lives if we shifted our internal narrative (and, by extension, the shared narrative spouses have with each other) away from labeling this as just another part of woman's "curse" and trying to see it as an advantage?

It's the classic "keep your friends close, and your enemies closer" sort of deal.

Because once we sort of rewire our thinking to see sensitivity as a potential blessing in our luteal phase, we free ourselves up to experience a few things, like:

1. the grace of acceptance. "My body was designed this way for a good, beautiful reason—even if that reason is not an active part of my life right now." Making this simple mental shift can keep us in right relationship with our bodies, and in our prayer life with God—even when our current state can make that a bit difficult!
2. the ability to adapt to heightened sensitivity, by focusing more on sleep, good nutrition, and practices that decrease stimulation. How might our experience of the luteal phase improve if we stopped fighting it, and instead listened to the "needs" that our body may be communicating to us in this time?
3. the humility to know that our immediate emotions or reactions may not reflect the reality of the situation, which can help us pause and reflect before choosing to act.
4. learning how to form the voice of our "inner critic" into our "inner guide." Sometimes it is the case that our luteal phase makes us aware of short-comings, or issues with our relationships that higher-energy phases can sort of make us blind to. There's real benefit in being able to see those things! But instead of dwelling on the negativity of that realization (which can lead to scrupulosity and despair!), we can form our reactions and our inner conversations to instead cultivate spiritual, emotional, and relational habits that are rooted in LOVE and not judgment. Love builds us up and helps us to see our shortcomings as invitations for God's grace to "fill in the gaps," so to speak. Some of the greatest saints spent a lot of their lives thinking they were the greatest sinners, but instead of despair and criticism, they found FREEDOM and LOVE. If you think you are especially prone to scrupulosity in the luteal phase, maybe ​check out this article​ with a particular focus on steps 5, 10, 11, and 12.

Now, as ALWAYS with body literacy—a primary goal is to be able to observe what YOUR body is experiencing, assess whether that falls within a healthy and normal variation, and if not, to seek help!

So if your luteal phase critic ever interferes in a way that prevents you from functioning healthily in your relationships, with your school/work, or temps you towards self-harm, that's a BIG 🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩 And you deserve to get help with that!