Matt Selby serves as the Director of Adult and Marriage Formation in the Archdiocese of Dubuque.​

He grew up in Iowa and was raised as a devout Evangelical Protestant, intending to become a Protestant Pastor. While serving as a missionary in the Middle East, he met his future wife, Anna-- a devout Catholic. Though Matt intended to try and convert her, as he says, "God had other plans..." and Matt joined the Church in 2011. He then completed his masters in theological studies in 2013 and has been working in various church roles ever since. In 2017, he was hired as the Marriage and Family Life Director for the Archdiocese of Dubuque. Matt and his wife have five boys, ages 11 to 9 months.

Matt's office was brought to my attention because they have an entire page dedicated to NFP AMBASSADORS, and actually run a scholarship program so that anyone who would like to go through the Pearl & Thistle NFP Ambassador Training course can do so in their diocese for free (!!!)

I had to ask him about his work, and find out more about how they use this program:

​
CV: ​I find that every diocese is structured a little bit differently, so maybe help us understand a little more about the scope of the title "Director of Adult and Marriage Formation."

MS: In my role, like many in ministry work, I wear multiple hats. On the Adult Formation side of my job, I direct a two-year lay formation program called IMPACT, oversee another two-year program called the Institute of the Transfiguration in which we train clergy and lay Catholics to serve as spiritual directors, coordinate our annual Men's Conference, and consult with and coach parish leaders on adult evangelization and formation, among other things.

On the Marriage Formation side of my work, I oversee marriage preparation ministries, support and encourage marriage enrichment ministries, provide guidance and resources on a number of different difficult pastoral care issues facing couples and families (e.g. child loss ministry, chastity ministry, divorce ministry, etc.). I also am the coordinator NFP ministry for the Archdiocese.

How does Natural Family Planning fit into the bigger mission of your work?

The Archdiocese of Dubuque undertook an NFP initiative a few years before I began in the position under the direction of our previous Archbishop. An NFP Task Force, including practitioners and priests, was formulated and developed the "Top Ten Reasons to Use NFP" and corresponding brochures, posters, videos, and an NFP-dedicated website: https://nfp.dbqarch.org. I inherited this work and have updated and further developed it with the Task Force. We continue to meet about quarterly to move forward the initiative and explore new opportunities to share the message of NFP.

I'm really struck by your initiative to fund the training of NFP Ambassadors for your diocese. Why do you think an NFP Ambassador program is important?

A few years ago we started a scholarship fund to assist with the costs for individuals and couples to be trained as instructors or medical providers in any Church-approved NFP method. But I've also recognized that it's difficult to find people who have the time to devote to both training and then instructing, especially in the more rural areas of our Archdiocese.

When I heard about the NFP Ambassador program I thought that was a perfect middle ground for those who want to spread this message but can't currently pursue training as an instructor. It allows them to receive some training that is accessible. It also allows them to focus on sharing NFP with their local parish community.

And.... why is this actually worth investing diocesan money in?

I love that it is tied to parish ministry, as often instructors and providers operate more independently.

I've also found that in marriage preparation/enrichment or youth ministry often the pastor and other parish leaders are not necessarily well-versed enough in NFP to speak to the particulars of it. This provides them with a go-to person in their parish who has enough knowledge and experience to share the message. It also provides the parish with an advocate for more proactive promotion of NFP (e.g. in youth ministry, the parish's Catholic school, in marriage prep, during NFP Awareness Week, etc.).

The ambassadors also serve as a bridge to the instructors and providers in the Archdiocese. They can provide the local connection and initial catechesis and then can refer individuals and couples who would like to learn to practice a method to an instructor. I also hope that some of the ambassadors will take the step down the road to pursue further training to become an instructor or medical provider. That's not for everyone, but the ambassador program can be a good stepping stone toward that further training and involvement in this ministry.

What attracted you to the Pearl & Thistle training program, specifically?

Pearl & Thistle was brought to my attention by two young moms in the Archdiocese who wanted to promote NFP but couldn't devote the time to becoming instructors. They had come across the program and wanted to pursue the training and asked if they could apply for our scholarship.

That prompted me and the NFP Task Force to look into it. We decided to financially support them going through the training and asked them to report back on their experience. They loved the training. It's accessible but still robust. It has solid Catholic teaching and great resources. It helps that it's all laid out for ambassadors to use in their parish, while also being adaptable/customizable for the individual ambassador to cater to their local community's needs.

What have you seen to be the fruits of this training (or what do you hope to see)?

We decided to promote this program and fully fund the training for anyone who wanted to become an NFP Parish Ambassador and had the support of their pastor. We launched this in the Spring of 2023. While we haven't had as large of a response as I would have liked, we have had 8 people go through the training so far. They have found it beneficial and have been able to implement it in their parish. We hope to continue to grow this effort throughout the Archdiocese.

How do you currently use NFP Ambassadors? Do you have specific tasks/resources/events that you envision for them? Or is each Ambassador doing something different?

I have met with the NFP Ambassadors as a group and we've shared ideas with each other. I intend to have semi-regular Zoom meetings with them to help them connect with one another and share ideas, including what they are doing at their parishes.

Some have a calling more towards working with youth, so they are working on sharing FertilityCare with those in their parish's youth ministry programs or Catholic schools. Others feel more called towards working with adults and especially engaged or married couples. I think each is trying to find their niche and how they can best support their pastor and other parish leaders in this area of ministry. So each one is approaching implementation a little differently based on their local needs and their passions. Especially as we get more ambassadors, I hope to further develop the network of them to support one another and brainstorm ideas for how the training can best be utilized.

In your perfect world, if resources were unlimited: what would be your total vision for NFP support within the Archdiocese of Dubuque?

Ultimately, my dream is to have an NFP Ambassador in every parish or cluster in the Archdiocese.

I'd also like to increase the number of trained instructors and at least have someone available in every geographical region of the Archdiocese (we're currently more slim in rural areas).

We also have a great need for more medical providers. I'd love to see many more doctors embrace NFP as integral to their medical practice and receive training. Ideally, we could use a NaPro-surgeon in Iowa.

Finally, I think there is much room for growth in the area of education amongst youth (and their parents). Good things are developing in this area but there is the need to invest more resources across the board in sharing this message with youth in our parishes and Catholic schools. Your Cycle Prep training is one thing we'd like to utilize here.

The biggest resource limitation is time. I think we could move the needle much more in all these areas if I and others had more time to devote to this ministry. But we're doing the best we can with the limited resources we have.
​
​Is there anything else you'd like to share? Totally open-ended!

Thank you for your work and making the trainings and resources you have developed accessible, so we can utilize them here in the Archdiocese of Dubuque.

And just for fun: do you have any particular saints who guide you in your work and family life?

St. Francis de Sales is a favorite saint of mine. I chose him as my Confirmation saint when I joined the Catholic Church in 2011 and have grown in my devotion to him in the last couple of years. Our youngest son, Michael, has the middle name of Francis after him. I also love St. Catherine of Siena. Unfortunately, my family has experienced recurrent miscarriages. She is a patron saint of miscarriages. It's been a difficult journey but St. Catherine has helped us along the way, and NFP and NaProTECHNOLOGY have helped us discover some of the underlying causes and be able to resolve some of those and sustain five pregnancies to be able to have the five boys we have with us here on earth.

 Loved this post? Be sure to subscribe to the Body Lit Library weekly newsletter, where every Thursday you'll get access to new content, updates, and special insider offers! 

 Want to learn more? Check out our lifelong body literacy education courses and books, from puberty through perimenopause and everything in between: pearlandthistle.com